To be Married or NOT to be MARRIED

Why everybody gotta get married, why everybody gotta have children??? Who says that is the rule, the law, the way it should be?

I am 31 now and as the days go by, i am getting older, and to people all around me that might be a sad thing - a nice girl with no husband, no family. BUT I AM GOOD, i tell you, I AM EXACTLY WHERE I WANT TO BE. The thing about being in your 30's is the majority of your friends are married or getting married, people you work with are married, it is all around you - all i know is you start to notice getting UNITED is more the "norm", than not. The one thing about being single and being around married people is you get a first hand look, a taste, a feel, a REAL FUCKING WAKE UP CALL, to how it is. The things I know, the shit i get told - I know what your spouse is thinking, and i don't like it! I don't want to be STUCK in a relationship w/someone who doesn't want to be stuck with me. Sad, i said STUCK. Anyways, it really freaks me out, it makes me a little jaded about married life. I have seen perfectly GOOD people, married people - act UNMARRIED-LIKE, single if you will - so WHY be married? Can someone answer this?

WELL I have some thoughts. From what I have come across, the biggest problem I feel, is often people are SETTLING. People are settling, they are running scared thinking that being ALONE will be the death of them. IT WON'T BE! Another thing people are doing is RUSHING. They think this person that has brought back a sparkle in their eye is their savior, and they are destined for marriage because of it, because that is the THE HAPPY EVER AFTER ENDING people are looking for. DON'T DO THAT! There are even people who issue ULTIMATUMS. Giving you the old "either we get married or end it". WHY THE RUSH, what is wrong in taking some time getting to know eachother before getting married? What difference does a piece of paper really make - don't yall know that PAPER won't keep your spouse from cheating on you, it won't keep them from wishing they hadn't made such a drastic decision because they don't really know you, it won't keep them from feeling bitter about being forced into something they weren't ready for. WAIT! DON'T RUSH! Get to know who you are with, sometimes it takes more than 3 or 4 months - SHIT, sometimes it takes years to really know.

Why can't we just live together, why can't we just be committed w/out all that stress, Why can't we just live in sin? What is so bad, if you have chosen one person to be with, right? am i right? can i get an AMEN. I know alot of times religious beliefs are tied up in "having to be married" - well you know what MOST PEOPLE are running around dipping the dipping stick in all kinds of cool-aid before they decide on the right flavor. How not sinful is that? Just a question. ANYWAYS lets save the religious discussion for another day.

Children are another BIG issue for marriage - my words on that are - it shouldn't be. You shouldn't get married just because you are pregnent and you shouldn't get married just to get pregnent. I know, I know people are saying, well i want to have kids before my insides dry up, or before i get too old. Well i don't know everything, i know kids like things stable, if they started off w/a mom and a dad, or 2 dads, or 2 moms or whatever - their world, pretty much goes better if they could keep that the same throughout. I know this doesn't always happen, but it could happen more if the right choices are made. This is NO slam on single parents -remember i am talking to people who settle and rush, and don't think very well about the important stuff - when children are involved there is alot more to think about.

I guess what I am trying to say is two things - Marriage just doesn't seem to hold the same meaning as it once did, and people are making a mochary of it. The other thing is people think that they have to be married so they make poor choices getting there. That is what it boils down to, in my opionion, but i guess you already know it is my opinion - it is MY BLOG, hehe

To those of you in a GOOD Marriage/Committment - I applaud you!!!!! BUT I AIN'T TALKIN BOUT YOU, so CHILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!

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My RELEASE

Wow I didn't think yesterday's blog (Alien Invasion) would stir so many people up, I have gotten apologies from people thinking they have been a bad friend to me, people asking me if they did something wrong to upset me and confusion about who I really am. These are all from people who are suppose to GET ME, hahahha. Isn't the POWER OF SUGGESTION, powerful? I suggested I was upset w/a certain type of person, so people who might have had a trait or two that I mentioned - stood up and said - "IS IT ME?" - you know what, I am proud of you guys, owning up to your own SHAME, hahahha. That is why I love you - OWN IT - hey I am a screw-up too, I am not without tiny flaws, I know I disguise pretty darn well, but baby, this ain't no pretty picture. Character flaws I might have a plenty, I just don't know what they are, hahahahha. Hey I just wrote one, MISTY THINKS SHE IS PERFECTION, hahahah. Not really my peeps...not really.

How could such a HAPPY person as myself be so ANGRY, my little sweet pea said. So I re-read my story and thought yes it might seem out of character for me, being that I am such a pile of SUGAR (PERFECTION I TELL YOU), BUT I do stay happy for a reason. I VENT often. Before I started blogging, I chatted it up w/my friends, I journald, I wrote mean/sad poetry and I joined a self love - self help -love the people group (RC SHOUT OUT!). I have no problem getting off my chest what I need to get off my chest - I don't want that shit lingering around causing misery to all. So for those of you who don't know me and those of you who don't talk to me often - I am BREEZY, I am COOL, I AM HAPPY!! I am who I am because I RELEASE the bad. IN WITH THE GOOD OUT W/THE BAD!! Let's say it all together "IN WITH THE GOOD OUT W/THE BAD!!"

Yes it is true, I did write about someone, and that incident made me think of other casualties with such type people, and so I became RAGED, hahahha. Not really RAGE, but worked up a bit. All in a days emotion-coaster shenanigans. We are creatures of FEELINGS, and these FEELINGS have tendencies that we really can not explain and have totally no control over. But hey I am so over it and me and my incident are kind of like friends again, hahahahha...well at least till the next time.

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