Monday, October 31, 2005

To Date or Not to Date

So this weekend I was talking to a good friend of mine. We were talking about life and what not, basically just catching up on eachothers life from where we left off, you know how it goes. Well we started talking about dating. Of course he is not, engaged and all as he is. Me on the other hand, clueless to the word and what it means. I was in a relationship for as long as I can remember and anything before or after does little to resemble a "date-like" situation. We were laughing because I didn't realize that I have never really DATED until recently.

See recently one of our clients at work, sort of asked me out, very suave, I didn't even actually realize that was what was going on, and before I knew it, I was sending my number along with the company invoice, hahahha. Well long story short, he called, I didn't call back. So the next day at work, via email, I apologized for being a flake and he asked me to dinner. Again I said I had plans, because I did, and he left it in my hands. So I discussed this among my peeps at work and besides given me a hard time, and asking me to take one for the team - Jackie was like just go out on a date, it can't hurt. AND there it was - the word - DATE - WHAT? I don't know what that is all about. Then Kevin was like haven't you dated? You had to have dated? So I thought and thought, and was like NO, NEVER!!! We didn't do that. What do you mean yall didn't do that? What about in High School or College? NOPE NEVER!! So what did yall do, Kevin had to know, so inquisitive he is. We just hooked up, you met someone, at a club, party or whatever and smooched it up, and either continued to do that everytime you saw eachother or not. You might start going out a bit after that but it NEVER began with a date - it was just how it happened in my town, in my circles or maybe it is my culture - maybe us Mexicans don't date, we just hook up, get it on, and worry if you are hungry later, hahahhaha. So is this cultural? I do think back to one guy in high school, we met through my cousin Javier, and he took me to the zoo once, then to the park once, and I think maybe to eat once - WELL that whole situation was so dammmmmmmmmmnnnn nerve racking for me, because he never kissed me, I was like I can't handle it. So I stopped with the "dating" right then and there. The pressure was too extreme, all I kept thinking was, what if he finally kisses me, after all these damn dates and I start to really like him, and it is just horrific, gross, his breath stinks and his spit runs like a river - WHAT WOULD I DO THEN!!!????? I hate a bad kiss.

So maybe this is why dating is too weird for me.

But on the other hand am I being HO-ish? I DON'T mean it in the way, I need to get down and make love tonight, but I just rather have a taste of what is to come up front. There can't be anything wrong with that, can there? Will I never get dinner and a movie with this attitude? Am I ruined or tainted w/the wrong ideas? Help people, is it just me who is freaked about dating? Can I still learn? Is there a book for this problem? Is it a problem...

more me later


Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'll go to dinner & a movie with you,'ll be a date between friends to help you train for the real thing =oP

12:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are you ruined or tainted w/the wrong ideas? Take it from someone who has gone out on more dates than days in a year x 5, which in my book would make me some sort of a "professional dater" (for lack of a better term) but ANYWAY, would I say you're ruined?...NO...tainted? MAYBE. You could be missing out on actually letting someone get to KNOW you and vice versa...that alone helps a relationship last longer as opposed to having 5 weeks of hot steamy sex. Now, don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with that (sometimes). Ultimately, it all really depends what you are looking to get out of it. I personally feel you're neglecting yourself from the possibility of building lasting friendships, FREE dinners, expanding your circle of friends by meeting and getting to know his/hers, exposing yourself to new ideas/experiences, did I mention FREE dinners? Well, you get the point. Dating is actually a lot of long as you don't date too many at the same time and make sure the one's that you don't feel that "chemistry" are kept at the friendship distance.

"Thirty Flirty and Thriving"
-Thirteen Going On Thirty

12:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

misty, misty, misty... my friend. go out on dates! let him wine you and dine you. make the first move... as we know you are truly capable especially after a little vino... if it doesn't taste good, feel good - move on... sort of like a "taste test" - like at baskin-robbins. if anything, you get a free meal. nothing ventured, nothing gained! -sd

12:57 PM  
Anonymous Rita said...

I guess I never really dated either. We always just called it "talking". One guy used to take me out on dates, but then I would ditch his ass and go out with the party boys. I let some rich guy take me on a date once (it was actually a similar situation to the one you are in), mom told me to go with him because a free meal is a free meal. Yeah, that is sage advice.

6:47 AM  
Blogger Jeff james said...

Looking at blogs and found yours...I like yours! My site about best weight loss exercise program still does not have a blog. Thanks for some ideas

11:01 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home