Me and Diana (my friend from kindergarten) and PERRY!

So me and Diana are here at the Tapioca Tea House, because I la la love tea w/little squishy balls, hehe!! YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN!!!

So there is computers you can use here (and as I write this, Diana is attempting to correct my grammar, so maybe this is not a GOOD IDEA!)so I say to Diana, Diana, hey let's go type a blog together. So here it goes, I don't know what it will bring.

OH SHIT, first of all let me just share w/you, I SAW MUTHA FUCKIN PERRY FERRELL this weekend - and for those of you who don't know - that is the lead singer of Janes Adddiction, my FAVORITE BAND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!!! He was playing at the M Bar, and he was doing his dj thing, which isn't all that, and I hate to say it, but I know too many damn dj's to say other wise. BUT who cares it is mutha fuckin Perry Ferrell!!!! Anyways, I pre bought a couple tickets, and I told my pal Lisa, that we had to be there early so she needed to drop her stank ass kids off at her mom's house early. (just kidding Lis, you know I love tha kids). Cool, done. So after work I went to the Gunspoint Mall, so I could look HOT for my baby's daddy (Perry fools) and I met up w/Diana, my friend from kinder - I told her what was up, and she was like - I wanna cum (hehe), I wanna cum (hehe), in her baby voice - she doesn't even KNOW HIM - WHAT THA FA?! BUT WHATEVER, I told her, GIRL you gots to call the M BAR and see if tickets are available, because you know I ain't gonna bring yo ASS back home if you can't get in. So she says Cool, done. So I get home, I tell my roomie about the plan, AGAIN, I am like call Diana she is calling M BAR, yadda, yadda, yadda - so it is a plan, all 4 of us are going. We get ready, Lisa picks us up at 8PM (DA DA DAMN) - I mean like we were totally still wearing our shades, that is how damn early it was. ANYWAYS we are on our way, break for Mickey Donalds, we dump off the kids, I said BYE KIDS - looked at the clock and it is now 8:10PM - so we are off to the club - okay downtown Houston is fucking ridiculous on a Friday night, but we finally parked thanks to the Kim Son Bum who directed us to a spot for the low low price of 2$ - so me and my pals get off the car and with the quick wit that only a street hustler could give - he looks at me and says "If I was clean, I would shoot for you(me)" - now if that ain't the sweetest thing I ever heard I don't know what is.

So we arrive at the door at 9PM - THE ONLY ONES IN LINE!!! - DIANA IS TAKING THE STORY FROM HERE... So, we're all standing there like a bunch of fools (and mind you, I don't even know who Harry Powell is....oh, my bad..I've been corrected...Perry Ferrell...anyway, the only reason we finally got in was b/c I'm so damn cute! (Misty: "Yeah, in her Baby Gap skirt...byoch!") As I (Diana) was saying...we get in there, it had been a while for me, so I'm kind of looking forward to having a night out, Perry or no Perry, I was gettin' LAID! (She made me say that!) LOL!!! So really, we get in there and I couldn't even order a martini because the bartender hadn't even freakin' set up the joint. Misty was all too consumed with how she was going to get up to the DJ booth and "fornicate" (her again) with P.F., Lisa was too busy tryin' to get her drink on, Rene checkin' out all the "ass", if you will, and me...well, what's a cute girl like me to do but chat it up with the boys. As you can see, we weren't paying much attention to each other...My fingers hurt...here's Misty again.

Talk about a bunch of TRASH - this girl don't know how to tell a story - I mean golly gee - she didn't even say how we all w/the exception of Rene tried to persuade the bouncers to let us up on the second floor to be CLOSER to my Perry Werry. I think I saw Lisa rubbing up to the bouncer w/her big ass - and Diana well Diana was more than willing to do a little bending over (Diana: "LIAR!!!") Yall are my peeps you know I would NEVER tell a lie. I MEAN you should have seen that skirt, there is more material on a bandana - NO NO a headband, NO NO on a wristband than on that skirt.hahahahahah - ANYWAYS - and you know me - I was willing to HIT MY KNEES for my man - hahahah, just kidding mamma, you know I ain't that kind of girl, hehe. Well Perry finally comes (Diana is TIRED, big baby, so I will finish this tomorrow - she is tired of me talking about Perry - whatever D, WHATEVER!!!) Okay we have renegotiated and I am finishing this story. Perry starts to play and those bitches at M Bar put him on the second floor instead of the stage at the bottom, why did I pay $10 to hurt my neck trying to look at that glorious man - ANYWAYS let me tell you WHY - he didn't play ANY of his own shit - he played songs he liked - which was cool because he has GREAT taste in music, but all I could think about is how I was going to get close - it reminded me of the time I was at a Prince concert and was master planning a jump on to the stage to be in my LOVER's arms. ANYWAYS - as I dance and look and dance and look - I look over to the bouncer and he waves his hands in a come hither motion and I run, almost falling to my death (you know bad ankles) he says - yall can go up now - 1:45am - I look over at my pals and wave them up as I run to the top.

THERE I WAS 4 baby steps away from my future - I cross the velvet rope and BAM - this big muther fucker says - THAT IS WHAT THESE are THERE FOR (the ropes) - I say HEY you don't have to be so UGLY, and why are all these bitches and skank ho's able to be close - who tha fa are they - so I go around to the other side - NOPE I get across and he shines the light at me - WHAT DID I DO, WHAT DOES HE HAVE AGAINST ME, DO I LOOK DANGEROUS, ARE MY EYES SAYING - WILL RAPE PERRY FERRELL FOR BABY JUICE - I am not sure sooooooooooooooooooooooooo I walk over and stare at him from about 5ft away, dreaming, loving - you know just wishing I was one of those STUPID MUTHER FUCKERS so very close to my man.

We leave before he even finishes and before the tears in my eyes come - well because Lisa said so, and I rode w/her.


When will I be famous?
More me later

(Diana: "This was stupid") no more me later