Monday, April 18, 2005

Support the Kidney Stone Kind of Love

The other day i decided, last minute, i wanted to invite some friends over for drinks and karioke and fun. So via email one of my dear friends whom I shall call Percy - as to protect her from vicious laughter and embarrassment. So Percy emails me back and says she can't attend on account of her boyfriend is PASSING A KIDNEY STONE and she told him SHE WOULD BE SUPPORTING HIM ON THAT. HAHAHAHAHHA, sorry, hahahahahahah - Yes I can laugh, not just at PERCY, but at everyone who has EVER been in love - you know why - i will tell you WHY - BECAUSE YOU DO STUPID SHIT LIKE SUPPORT A PIECE OF ROCK FORMATION EXITING THE BODY VIA THE PENIAL PROJECTION PEE PEE HOLE. WHY I say, WHY???? Will you be squeezing it out Percy, as to help it along OR will you just be cheering it on "COME ON KIDNEY STONE, YOU CAN DO IT, JUST PUT YOUR MIND TO IT - YEAH KIDNEY STONE!!!!" - No my dear friend, all jokes aside, i am sure you are there to hold the hand, wipe the tears, and massage the pain - WELL maybe not massage the pain, hehe.

Okay lets see what have I done in the name of LOVE that is pretty dam STUPID. I am sure there is something - I think I save my stupidity when I am out of love, because i can't think of anything but the shit I have done out side of that L WORD REALM.

Okay some things are coming back, this is pre-caller ID, so i was in like high school or something - i really, really liked this guy, i didn't think it was love, but i guess it was my first love - soooooooooo besides NOT TELLING him i felt this way, being the stupidest thing I did, which is pretty dam funny to me NOW, but i would call him, listen to him - just say HELLO (DUMB) then hang-up, or I would drive by all the places he could be standing outside 3,4,5 times, hahahahha - and just say he would be outside when i drove by, i would act like i didn't see him and drive faster(DUMBER) - WHY WHY WHY do we do this stupid shit. Well i am pretty sure i graduated to dumber shit. Will call this one my 2nd LOVE - well I was really stuck on stupid for this kid - let me take it a step further besides the acts of physical stupidity, MENTALLY the shit you say or believe is so much worse - like once with this fool i believed the line "My grandmaw is taking me out for my birthday and I am going to spend all day with her, but I will see you LATER" - WHAT THA FA! What 22 year old wants to spend a whole day w/grandmaw, i mean i love mine LOTS, but spending my whole birthday w/her, by myself, having a boyfriend - MAKES YOU SAY HMMM!! Dumb love - he said so much crazy shit like this to me, but i think i have a BLOCK on it - I know i would get totally wasted then drive 40 miles to his house, so then I could sit there while he talked to his friend while I watched tv. Good days! WELL MAYBE THAT WASN'T LOVE FOR HIM, hahahahahhaha...so sad.

Well once I was done with him, I said never again will i be so DAM STUPID, but Love has that way of making YOU, whether you want to or not, for example: Love will lead you into dirty bathrooms to have sex. Love will lead you diving into a ditch after your keys,because your boyfriend wants you to stay so yall can keep arguing. Love will lead you jumping through windows when you could of used the front door. Love will lead you behind brightly lit buildings w/people around when you could of just gone to a nice hourly establishment, hehe. Love will lead you to dial, hangup, dial, hangup, dial, hangup 100 times in 2 minutes for no GOOD reason. Love will lead you running down the street w/out your car because your love has planted himself in there for the night. Love will lead you to do all kinds of shit. I know I am sure there is plenty more to put on my list but I seem to have a serious mind block on my stupidity - I mean like who totally wants to talk about that, like gag me with a wet twinkie.

So i leave you with your stupid kidney stone supporting love, because with out it, what would we talk about.

I would love to hear some stupid love from each and everyone, please feel free to comment, don't worry you don't have to put your name.

more me later.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I’ve dated many a fool because I’m such a sucker for some lovin’!
They have ranged from 30 yr. old men who ask me to hide in their bedroom at their mother’s home, which they still live in; to making excuses for the oh, so awful boyfriend, who I caught in his ex-girlfriends underwear!!!! Yes, I have put up with some real winners in the name of love. I even got kicked out of Numbers…YES, Numbers for getting’ it on in their FUNK NASTY bathroom…boooooooo :( I need help!!!
...Kidney stone support is not that bad

9:23 AM  
Blogger PLAYMISTY4ME said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can second the notion about the older man still in his mother's house, but my older man turned on the lights and there was a life size replica of Yoda in the room. "I am sort of a Star Wars Freak," He says. A freak indeed. In addithion, I have put up with two or three boyfriend's friends sneaking in at inopportune moments. All of the sudden I would count 1,2,3 hands on me. "alright jackass, tell your friend I am not that kind of girl."

10:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

haahaaahaaa!! 1,2,3 hands on me...haahaaaa!!

10:53 AM  
Blogger Julie said...

Um... Love your post. People do do some stupid freakin shit for love. Me included.

11:27 AM  
Blogger Sean said...

pictures of kidney stones

This condition affects one in ten men between 30-45. It is also what I fear most in this world.

A woman who truly loved me would fetch the pistol, make sure it's loaded, then leave me in peace to go join her friends for some drinks and karaoke.

3:38 PM  

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